The Universal International Appeal of Mr. Darcy
Is there really a clash of civilizations? Alright, I just felt like throwing that phrase out there.
While pondering that question one might want to read two current (this week) and fascinating New York Times articles on the subject of Saudi Arabia’s youth and LOVE. The articles are titled: “Love on Girls ‘Side of the Saudi Divide” and “Young Saudis Vexed and Entranced by Love’s Rules.”
A particular tidbit at the very end of the first linked article caught me completely by surprise. A girl named Shaden is being described:
She turned back to the stack of DVDs she had been rifling through, and held up a copy of Pride and Prejudice, the version with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet, a film she says she has seen dozens of times. “It’s a bit like our society, I think,” Shaden said of late Georgian England. “It’s dignified, and a bit strict. Doesn’t it remind you a little bit of Saudi Arabia? It’s my favorite DVD.” Shaden sighed, deeply. “When Darcy comes to Elizabeth and says ‘I love you’ — that’s exactly the kind of love I want.”
Officially, I like to grumble about Mr. Darcy. Just ask my wife – an avid fan of the Jane Austen movies and Pride and Prejudice in particular. We have a few different copies at our place and in the past I’ve wondered aloud if I need to worry about Mr. Darcy. I’ve also complained that I live in Chickflickistan and that maybe we should purchase some ‘manly’ movies to counterbalance all the drama spilling from the DVD shelf.
Off the record though, I’ll concede that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are compelling characters and that Jane Austen’s fiction has plenty of insights to offer about the good and bad in human nature. It doesn’t really surprise me that Jane Austen’s stories have such lasting appeal to so many people.
But I wouldn’t have predicted that a Saudi Arabian girl would hold up Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy as the example of ideal romantic love. In my estimation, that anecdote really proves the point about Jane Austen’s mastery and capability to communicate the thoughts and emotions that are most truly human. It also makes me think that on a basic essential human level – despite numerous political and religious differences – Saudis and Westerners aren’t so different after all.
Okay – enough is enough. I’m off to find my copy of the Bourne Supremacy.
It appears as if you are living with rose colored glasses on to believe there is no clash of civilization…until I gave it a bit more thought. Perhaps it isn’t our difference in thoughts and needs and religious convictions that bring on a clash. What if its just a matter of time, progression & enlightenment. It wasn’t so long ago in our history that women we not allowed to actively pursue a suitor (talk to my grandmother).
Anyway what I’m trying do here is debate your idea that “Saudis and Westerners aren’t so different after all”. We are different, but its not so much the cultural differences as it is perhaps, time differences (not to be confused with time zone difference). When given time to think and act, learn, grow can’t we all come to know that the world is indeed round?
just a thought
Gwen,
I wouldn’t argue too hard with you. I probably could have worded things a little differently or better. The only point I would argue is that when two human beings (of any background) sit down and talk things through – once they get past issues such as differences in politics/religion/culture/language/etc. (differences that can be quite significant, of course) – they would probably find that their most basic human needs are really the same.
Azar Nafisi talks about readingPride and Prejudice with Iranian women in Iran in Reading Lolita in Tehran. It’s not just Saudi girls who like Mr. Darcy, and in that book they also compared early 19th century England to strict Islamic countries.
Dean likes Austen movies — but not as much as the Bourne movies.
I’ve been meaning to write a primer for him on “how to talk to your woman like a Jane Austen hero” but my sister Susanna says she tried to teach Patrick and it didn’t take. Oh, well.
Gwenevere, in my own pre-married dating life, I eventually came to the conclusion that even in our era it still usually worked best for men to do the courting. (I also remember hearing the statistic (tho’ I have no source for it) that it’s still true in our culture (meaning modern U.S. culture) that for the most part it’s men who initiate relationships and women who end them.) I could write a long explication of my theory, but it’s a very wriggly can of worms, and I don’t want to hijack this thread (and moreover I need to go clean my house . . . while my husband’s off providing for my family . . . yeah I guess I do have things in common with the Saudi women. But I do feel like there’s a difference in my having been able to *choose* a traditional role. But that’s again a whole ‘nother long topic.)
Zina, you’re always welcome to hijack threads here.
I’m not quite sure what you mean by “it still usually worked best for men to do the courting” but my courtship theory is that (in many ‘traditional’ situations) women influence men to ask them out by signaling that they will say ‘yes’ if asked. Otherwise, most men are too chicken.
The basis of my courtship theory is an undergraduate work experience where I transcribed taped interviews with students about their dating lives. Then afterwards I read a graduate paper (based on data from those interviews) written specifically about the topic of female courtship strategies. It was a very interesting paper.
According to the study that was done – it’s simply amazing what a simple line such as “we should do something sometime” can do for a woman’s dating life. The funny thing was that some of the graduates (women) who helped write the paper (and who initially thought a line like that was completely lame) actually tried out what they learned and found that the number of dates they went on increased tremendously. I think the number I heard was a 25%-50% increase or even more. Women who had only occasional dates suddenly found they were going on more than one date a week.
In any case – based on that experience and what I learned from it – even if men are doing the actual asking – the women are not playing a passive role.
Jane Austen RULES!!!! Who doesn’t love Darcy’s smoldering haughtiness…or should I say “hottiness.”
Yours truly,
A devoted Austenite, Janeite, whatever-ite, I love all things Jane…just ask Di
“It usually worked best for men to do the courting” — kind of a lengthy one to explain and defend, but a short version is that after doing some of the asking-out myself when I was in high school, I came to feel that I never knew if the guy were really interested and invested or just passively along for the ride, and that in our culture it’s good for men to be invested and “step up” by taking an assertive role in inviting women out on dates, so I decided to stop doing any of the initial inviting. Of course it’s true that whether or not men will make those invitations depends a lot on the signals women send — and I would have loved to have known the magic tricks for getting dates.
(On the other hand, I did know some women who sent those signals all the time, unintentionally and indiscriminately, and they didn’t always relish the invitations they were getting from all directions.)
P.S. While my take on courtship may sound retrograde, I think the huge (and even universal) popularity of Mr. Darcy and Austen films makes, I think, a pretty good case that many modern women would still love to be actively courted in an old-fashioned way. Of course, Lizzie and other Austen heroines have plenty of spunk and take lots of initiative, but they do so within the framework of the social mores of their time, and I guess my argument is that those social mores often still hold water — there was good reason for their existence, and those good reasons have (in my opinion) not all gone away.
Choice is a very, very great word Zina. Often times I think life would be much easier if we didn’t haven’t so many choices. I mean if my children just did what I asked there would be no contention…right? (yeah right, no contention, just a revolution). When my 5 year old was having a very difficult day I sat down after it was through to talk about with him. He said, “I just didn’t like it when I always have to do what others say” In return I told him “I just want you to learn to make the right choices so that you don’t have to obey anyone” (He was either totally confused or he got it, because he didn’t ask another question)
Ok, I’ve gotten off the Mr. Darcy theme intended and I apologize but I just thoroughly enjoy when discussion keeps me thinking and Zina’s use of the word “choose” sure kept me goin’.